Why am I so broke????

Life comprised of mishap after mishap: A story about me

Is it fair that college is soooooo expensive? I mean really does it even cost as much as they claim (note to do research)? And do not get me started on financial aid which is a joke in itself. When they say anything is better than nothing, they are completely false. The disappointment in knowing you qualified for $400 in TAP (for the YEAR!) when you were hoping it would solve your financial problems is not what you want to find out. In fact i was more than $400 disappointed so…… And let me tell you the financial aid office is your best friend until you are on campus enrolled as a student and then they literally will not listen to a word you say or try to help in anyway. Actually they did me the great favor of adding money to my bill halfway through the year. Thanks. But moving on.

I am honestly just very frustrated. As a full time college student with a full time job (at Dunkin’ Donuts no less, more on that later) I am constantly asking myself why! This isn’t a “poor me” rant (yes it is) about how I have not time to do anything but work and work because in theory I actually enjoy it. But sometimes I ask myself what is the point of working at a job I don’t like at a college I don’t like in order to get a job that in theory will mean absolutely nothing and I won’t like. Is that a waste? Should I join the Peace Corps and always be broke? Should I join the circus where my whole life is an act? Does money matter?

I pay for college myself. I was dumb and picked out an expensive private college because I thought it would open more doors for opportunity. It doesn’t. One set of buildings is another. I pay roughly 12,000 dollars per semester. I work 40 hours at $12.75 an hour ($450 a week give or take). Everyone preaches how college is a full time job. So basically I am working 80 hours a week, trying to cook, go grocery shopping, complete assignments, live like a normal teenager sometimes and try not to die.

And don’t get me wrong, I do like having a job because I don’t like having absolutely nothing to do in my life but there is a limit. And the sheer amount of budgeting and penny pinching I do in order to pay for college so I don’t have to take out loans is enough to make your head spin around. Which leads me to ask… Is living in the moment more important than planning for the future and where do you draw that line?

But mostly this is a philosophical debate about the worth our actions. If it does not make us happy should we do it? Is there a such thing as doing something for the greater good? If you prepare for the future all your life and it sucks did you waste your life? Sometimes we need a motivation to keep going and very often the beginning and the end are our motivation. Somewhere in the middle life gets annoying and we ask ourselves “is there really a point?”

We will find out (hopefully).

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